(From In Food, February 25, 1998):Comments about Little Caesars pizza in last week’s Drive-Thru Gourmet column were intended to apply only to the outlets in Kmart. Pizzas come in different sizes and crust choices at other Little Caesars. We regret any confusion.
This week I reached out for a large sausage pizza at Little Caesars - stuck inside a Kmart. I never knew there were hundreds of Little Caesars “pizza stations” at Kmarts (including both Spokane stores on Sprague).
But it makes sense. Discount pizza in a discount store. Most restaurants have a blue-plate special. At Little Caesars, you get the blue-light special.
Total calories per slice: 240. Fat grams: 9. Manufacturer’s suggested retail price: $10.99.
That’s pretty cheap. That’s Little Caesars’ thing. You get a great big pizza at a real low price.
Pizzas are bigger across the board at Little Caesars. The pizzas run 14 inches across (small), 16 inches (medium) and 18 inches (bring friends).
One of those 18-inchers can feed a whole baseball team. Like the Detroit Tigers, for example, who are owned by Little Caesars founders Michael and Marian Ilitch. Order another pizza for the Ilitches’ other sideline, hockey’s Detroit Red Wings.
Little Caesars’ shtick has always been value. America’s No. 3 pizza chain (behind Pizza Hut and Domino’s) made its name by offering two pizzas for the price of one. That’s been the slogan: “Pizza! Pizza!”
Now Little Caesars is into size. Generally, its pizzas are a couple of inches broader than the competition’s.
But is bigger better? I’ve got to say no, not when it comes to pizza.
I’ve never been a fan of fast-food pizza. Fast-food restaurants do much better with hamburgers, where consistency is a virtue. You want the last burger in the bottom of the bag to taste like the first one.
Pizzas are different. Each one should be a little bit different, have its own quirks. But there’s no personality in a corporate pizza. Little Caesars isn’t a restaurant. It’s a factory.
Little Caesars has only one style of crust: thin. There’s no deep-dish, no hand-tossed, no whole wheat. There’s only a limited number of toppings, too.
I like my pizza made by a guy with hairy arms, wearing a T-shirt with rolled-up sleeves, who’s covered in flour. It’s even better if he owns the place. I’ve never had a bad meal in a joint named “Sal’s New York-Style Pizza.”
I especially don’t like pizzas that are baked on a conveyor belt passing through an oven. Every pizza tastes exactly the same at Little Caesars. Even the employees dress the same.
That would all be fine if Little Caesars made an authentically Italian pizza. But at Little Caesars, exactly the same isn’t exactly good.
I found my pizza very bland. The sauce had no zip, and the mozzarella melted unevenly. The sausage was rubbery. The crust was limp. It tasted like a frozen pizza, and don’t get me started on frozen pizzas.
To be fair, I went back for a second visit and brought some kids. They flipped over Little Caesars pizza. I noticed the tables were packed with children eating pizza, waiting for their parents to get done shopping.
From a parent’s perspective, that’s the best thing about a Little Caesars pizza: It’s a darn good baby sitter.
MEMO: The Drive-Thru Gourmet reviews offerings from various fast-food restaurants.
The Drive-Thru Gourmet reviews offerings from various fast-food restaurants.
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