As September approaches and after a nice long summer holiday to recharge and reset đ Or for most of us, surviving the full-time chaos with children in a different environment, many of us are gearing up for a fresh start.
For ambitious working mothers like you, you only have limited time and energy to juggle your career aspirations with family responsibilities.
So how can you do this without over-exerting yourself and spreading yourself too thinly across all the different people in and areas of your life?
The key is to set and maintain clear boundaries. Yes, we all know what boundaries are or do we?
I recently discovered from research with working mothers and my women clients. Most understand the importance of boundary setting but donât always execute it in the most effective way to protect their limited energy, time and purpose.
Letâs dive into why boundaries are crucial and how you can implement them effectively!
What Are Boundaries?
- Boundaries are personal limits you set to protect your well-being.
- Theyâre not requests or ultimatums, but clear statements about what you will and wonât accept.
- For instance, âI donât check work emails after 7 PMâ is a boundary, not âCould you please not email me after 7 PM?â
- The tone in which we are setting a boundary or saying no to a request also has an impact.
- If we are saying no to a request from a place to protect our purpose, we are saying it calmly and with grace. However, if we are saying no when weâre in a state of overwhelm, this can come across in a chaotic way and therefore have an impact on your professional and personal relationships.
Why Boundaries Matter
Boundaries are the invisible lines that define where you end, and others begin. Theyâre not just about saying ânoâ â theyâre about creating space for your âyesâ, i.e., your purpose, goals & aspirations!
As working mothers, boundaries help us:
- Maintain work-life balance and prevent burn out
- Protect our energy and focus
- Achieve our career goals without sacrificing family time
- Model healthy relationships for our children
- Improve the perception of our professionalism and respect at work
Tips for Setting and Maintaining Boundaries
1. Identify Your Non-Negotiables
- Reflect on your values and priorities. Whatâs essential for your career growth and family happiness? These become your non-negotiables. E.g., âI will attend all my childrenâs school eventsâ or âI will dedicate two hours each week to professional development.â
- Communicate Clearly and Consistently
2. Express your boundaries firmly but respectfully. Use âIâ statements and be specific. Instead of âDonât bother me in the mornings,â try âI focus on deep work from 9-11 AM and wonât be available for meetings during this time.â
3. Start Small and Build
Donât try to overhaul your life overnight. Begin with one or two boundaries and gradually add more as you become comfortable. This could be as simple as not checking work emails during dinner time.
- Use Technology to Your Advantage
Set up auto-responders, use the âDo Not Disturbâ feature on your phone, or use apps that limit social media usage. Technology can be a powerful ally in maintaining boundaries.
4. Prepare for Pushback
When you start setting boundaries, you might face resistance. Stay firm and remember why you set the boundary in the first place. Itâs okay to say, âI understand this is a change, but itâs important for my well-being and productivity.â
5. Maintaining Your Boundaries
- Regularly reassess: As your circ*mstances change, so should your boundaries.
- Celebrate successes: Acknowledge when you successfully maintain a boundary.
- Seek support: Share your boundary-setting goals with supportive friends or a mentor.
- Lead by example: Show your colleagues and family that respecting boundaries leads to better relationships and outcomes.
Remember, setting boundaries isnât selfish â itâs essential for your success and well-being. By clearly defining your limits, youâre creating space for what truly matters in your career and family life.
As you step into September, challenge yourself to identify one boundary you can set to support your career goals.
Share your boundary in the comments below or in the Careering into Motherhood Facebook group â letâs support each other in this journey of growth and balance!
Follow me on LinkedIn for more tips about boundary setting, growing your career on your terms and addressing the mental load.
P.s I have 2 free 1:1 coaching program spaces opening up in September if youâd like to discuss how you can support you to accelerate your career in 2024.
And we have a great new podcast episode launching on the 5th of August with Margot Birbeck, Executive General Manager, Prospa all about managing work life balance, the mental load and lots of other career tips. Tune into the Women Leadership Reframe here
Much love
Ellie English, Women leadership and mindset coach
July 29, 2024
